By Eric Wolf Schoen
Summer is here. The television and radio meteorologists had Saturday of the holiday weekend with locusts coming from the sky and it ended up being a gorgeous sunny day. Where they get their information from God only knows. But then again he’s responsible for the weather and there isn’t much we can do about it other than waste a BBQ day at the movies.
One thing I have noticed even before the pandemic but especially as Covid has taken its toll on us is the loss of manners, actually loss of a civilized society. People are so obsessed with speeding to get where they have to go that they drive on the striped lines on the road honking their horns like maniacs and zooming around other cars just to be a couple of seconds ahead. This is even on roadways were the posted speed limits are clear as a whistle.
Where do these speeders have to go? Is it worth the risk of driving over the limits and risking your life to get to where you have to go one minute ahead of the person in front of you? I think not. All We see on the road are accidents caused by dangerous drivers. And the faster they go, the worse gas mileage they get. Bottom line: go slower, save gas and be safer.
And if you are not going fast enough for the driver behind, apply the brakes. They get a quick lesson you mean business and might not be Speedy Gonzalez zooming around town.
No one has any manners anymore. So I thought I would review some of the common manners just as a refresher course. I went to the gym, a man had one good leg and one leg missing, and the idiots didn’t open the door for him or at least hold the door as he got in and out of the gym. Pray god you never find yourself in that situation.
Did people forget how to say please and thank you? Thank you if someone does something nice and please before taking something that is not yours even if it is to borrow it.
If someone is in conversation, do not interrupt them without saying excuse me. So many of us are in a rush and simply interject our thoughts, or interject our thoughts in other people’s conversations.
If you have doubt about something, ask permission. Don’t just take everything for granted. Maybe the plastic bags and flyer in a grocery cart by the bathroom in a supermarket belong to someone going to the bathroom. You don’t bring your grocery cart in the bathroom. Someone recently took my marked up Stop and Shop flyer and some plastic bags that I was going to use to bag my groceries right out of my cart as I spent a minute using the facilities. If the nickel for a paper bag is going to break you, then you better examine your budgetary spending. And there are plenty of flyers or circulars listing sales in the front of the store.
Think negative opinions to yourself. Don’t think everyone wants to converse with you. Only add something in if it will help the person you know like someone buying 2 packages of a product when they can get a third one free. Many times however the person you are interacting with doesn’t have room in the freezer or fridge for the third item, so if someone suggests a special to you and you are in this predicament simply say thank you!
Don’t comment on people’s physical characteristics unless it is a compliment. In the aforementioned situation with the man who lost his leg, he might not want you to know how he lost it. And frankly it’s none of your business.
When people ask how you are, tell them. But make sure to ask them how they are. We all.go through ups and down, and if someone is down try to cheer them up. Nothing better than when one has a positive mood!
When you are going to someone’s house for a play date or for dinner, bring them something they will enjoy. Whether it’s a box of candy or cake or a simple toy for a child, bringing them something could guarantee a visit back. And make sure you offer to clean up. Let them say no!
Knock on closed doors. Wait till you see if there is anyone before you enter. Don’t talk loud while you are waiting to see if the coast is clear.
When making a phone call always introduce yourself first. Then after you have established who you are, ask for the person you are calling for.
Plain, old fashion hand written notes can be just as nice as a fancy card. Whether it’s to celebrate someone’s Birthday or simply to say hello. In this age of email, sometimes it’s nice to get a penned note with a more personal feeling to it that the recipient can display for all to see.
Never use foul language even if you know the party you are talking to. Everyone knows the foul words and will think less of you if you use them.
At McDonalds, a fast food restaurant or a friend’s barbecue, clean up after yourself. The workers or your friend’s family are not servants who have to pick up after you!
Don’t call a person mean names. Only use a nickname if you know the person and the nickname is not negative in nature. People will think more of you if you use their proper name.
Don’t make fun of someone. Don’t switch languages to talk about other people. You never know if they are acquainted with the language you are speaking and wil get truly offended. Nowadays many people speak more than one language, even Americans who are known to speak only English.
If an event (play, movie, concert, children’s event) is boring, sit through it. The performers are doing their best, quite often have rehearsed for months and deserve your respect. Don’t talk when you are at the movies. It’s not like home where only family and friends are present.
If you bump into someone say excuse me. Look at the jerk that slapped former Mayor Giuliani, a 78 year old man on the back. The video is so clear that what the man did was wrong. Why would the other store employees have gone after him as they did. Something like a slap on the bag can kill someone is a fragile state.
Particularly in this age of Covid, cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. Never pick your nose, scabs or cut your fingernails in public. These are things done in the privacy of your home or bathroom, not for others to see.
Hold the door for the next person. If you do and they don’t thank you, simply say ‘you are welcome’ as a reminder that a thank you was in order.
If you come across someone working on something you are not familiar with, ask if you can help to learn what that person is doing. It’s important to learn something new everyday! When a person older than you asks you to do something, do it with a smile! Don’t grumble or ignore the person. You will get old one day too! When a person helps you thank them. They will be more apt to help you again!
Use eating utensils properly. If you don’t know how to ask. I was at a political dinner one time and a prominent politician was served a tough steak. The person had no qualms asking me to help them so as to not get the steak all over the place. Keep napkins on your lap, and elbows off the table. Don’t reach for things. Ask to have them passed.
Are these things are habits adults should have. In fact, many of them I adapted from a friend who teaches etiquette to 3 year olds. But as you know and can see, they certainly apply to the adults we deal with.
Wash your hands with soap and water and sing Happy Birthday twice. In this environment that’s something we all can agree upon to keep us safe and healthy!
Reach Eric Schoen at thistooisyonkers@aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @ericyonkers. Listen to Eric Schoen on the Westchester Rising Radio Show alternating Thursday’s from 10-11 a.m. On WVOX 1460 AM, WVOX.com click listen or download the WVOX app from the App Store free of charge.
