Are There Different Ways To Reflect on Sept. 11?

Americans mourn and grieve Sept. 11 in different ways.

Don’t Always Believe What You Read Online

By Dan Murphy

Most Americans recently held solemn remembrances to commemorate the 17th anniversary of Sept. 11, 2001, when our country was attacked at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and on airliners all over the USA, including Flight 93, which crashed in western Pennsylvania after being diverted from the White House.

Those remembrances included events in Putnam County, just north of Westchester. Putnam held its annual Sept. 11 services, which included first responders and many members of the New York City police and fire departments who live in Putnam, at Spain Cornerstone Park in Carmel.

A controversy of sorts happened after the Putnam event at Smalley’s Inn, a restaurant and pub in the heart of Carmel and near the county government campus.

Anthony Porto has owned Smalley’s Inn for more than 50 years and has been a part of the community for decades, helping with fundraisers and other events. Members of Putnam County government often come to Smalley’s after their meetings for a bite to eat or something to drink.

On Sept. 11 this year, Smalley’s was packed with hundreds of patrons who had just attended the Putnam County ceremony, including many firefighters and first responders from Putnam and from New York City.

According to a rumor that spread like wildfire on Facebook, someone in Smalley’s overheard Porto talking about Sept. 11 ceremonies and how long it had been since that day 17 years ago. The same rumor said Porto asked something to the effect of “When will this end?” referring to the remembrance ceremonies and the fact that some families wish to mourn their loved ones in private.

Porto is a Navy veteran and has family members who were impacted by Sept. 11, 2001 in NYC. He said he wonders why our country doesn’t mourn the loss of lives in World War II or Korea or Vietnam in the same way it does Sept. 11.

His comments were not offensive, but were coming from a veteran who has served his country and was simply thinking out loud about how all of us mourn differently.

Someone took the comments to mean that he was against the first responders, family members and friends of those lost Sept. 11, 2001, and that he was tarnishing their memory. That was not true, but very quickly that narrative about Smalley’s and its owner spread across Facebook and social media.

One person who was in Smalley’s at the time of the alleged incident commented: “Having been a firsthand party to that conversation, I will tell you that Tony did not address any firemen. His comment was taken out of context. He is a Navy veteran and understands very well feelings associated with war and tragedy. As with many people, his way of coping with such memories is to compartmentalize and try to get on with his life. This was the direction of the conversation.

“It was by no means meant to diminish the pain and suffering of those that were at ground zero or lost loved ones,” continued the patron. “Do you hold anything against those family members of those who lost loved ones who did not participate in this year’s ceremonies? It has been 17 years and some people need space from that tragedy in their memory. Shame on you for spreading a third-party account of a conversation that you were not even a part of. My brother is an FDNY first responder and I know the emotional toll this took on him and how his comrades have struggled with this.

“It is true that we don’t hold a commemoration for Pearl Harbor in Corner Stone Park every year. We as Americans never forget. But time does have a way of making things pass into history and making things less raw. The owner was simply asking, ‘When will that be?’

“I’m guessing that because we are so close to the epicenter and were impacted the most, it will remain vivid with us New Yorkers longer than most.”

We also spoke to the Porto family about what has happened.

“I’m sure that you have heard a horrible (false) story that went viral on Facebook on Wednesday, Sept. 12, about 10:30 a.m., regarding comments from more than one person (taken out of context) about 911 memorials at an establishment (Smalley’s Inn),” wrote the family.

“If this third-party account of a conversation truly happened, as some persons state, the patrons – including firemen from Putnam County, Dutchess County, Westchester and NYC (FDNY) – would have been extremely upset and boisterous to ‘said’ comments and, I would assume, would have walked out. Instead, that never happened and after the ceremonies, all came back to continue their evening with the establishment well past 1 a.m.

“One individual who posted this falsehood was approached and claims that he was ‘miss informed’ and clarified that he wasn’t even part of the conversation or at the establishment on Sept. 11, 2018,” continued the Porto family. “He loosely said he was sorry when asked to make a formal apology to the establishment. He declined and said ‘my lawyer told me not to say another word.’ He should be worried that a slander lawsuit will be filed. The establishment has given all names that were ‘directly responsible’ for spreading this vicious story to a lawyer. It’s funny how easy it is to copy/paste and take snapshots of conversations true or false. Maybe now all involved will know how it feels.

“Two of these individuals work as volunteers for local volunteer fire departments. When we contacted the Carmel Fire Department, they claimed… that when dealing with the common ‘on-goings’ in the firehouse and of ‘what’s being said,’ they ‘believe only 10 percent at the time, as the other 90 percent is almost always fabricated.’ Wow. What has this world come to?

“Individuals using social media can destroy a reputation, a business, a person… All for the drama of it,” continued the Porto family. “For their narrative. Not having facts, or any form of verification – only someone saying ‘I heard it’ from ‘someone.’ Who is the someone(s)? And let that person(s) stand behind their statements.

“What makes any of those who have participated in this ‘mob-type lynching’ by hitting the ‘share’ button any better than the ‘story’ they thought was true? They have done worse than what they accuse someone of saying.

“People don’t look others in the eye anymore. Facebook is more important than reality. Shame on everyone!

“For the record; the establishment has a family member that has survived 911, the owner is a vet himself and has been a member of this community for over 60 years. Even the artwork for Corner Stone Park’s 911 monument points back to the family of this establishment. The family has been embedded in the community for decades. (There’s) more history here than the mindless people who have spread such horrible stories and hatred.

“In light of this situation and circumstances (the hurt and disappointment), Smalley’s Inn will be holding a fundraising event every Monday from 12 p.m. to 12 a.m. in the month of November to benefit the Carmel Fire Department, with a percentage of all proceeds going toward a ‘continued training’ fund for the volunteers,” wrote the Porto family.

This incident should make us all reflect on a few things: First – something that most of us already know – do not always believe what you read on social media, be it from fake news sources aimed at influencing our elections or some people with nothing better to do than tarnish someone who did little more than express an opinion on how people grieve.

Any veteran who has served our country should have that right to express their opinion on how to remember those lost. That is why our servicemen and women fight for this country, so that we can all express our opinions.

This incident does not warrant a public protest to boycott a restaurant that has been in the heart of Carmel longer than most people posting on Facebook were born. I am satisfied with the explanation and will be going to Smalley’s Inn soon – see you there.