By Angelique Piwinski
There are many days, weeks and months set aside to commemorate, celebrate or draw positive attention to various groups and communities throughout the year. Yonkers, as a wonderful diverse and inclusive city, has so many groups and communities as exemplified by the numerous celebratory flag raisings occurring on a regular basis at City Hall.
For the transgender community one such commemoration is Transgender Awareness Week, November 13-19, when transgender people and their allies bring attention to this community by educating about who transgender people are, sharing stories and experiences, and advancing advocacy around the issues of prejudice, discrimination, and violence that significantly affect this community. It’s also a time to celebrate the individuals who comprise this community of over 1.6 million in the US and their many accomplishments and contributions.
The week culminates on November 20 designated as Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to remember all of those beautiful souls who were murdered because of who they were. I personally also count those who murdered themselves through suicide because they could not deal with the onslaught of bullying and hatred and the depression that then ensued. Sadly, 2021 has broken all records for the number of transgender people who have lost their lives through violence.
On a personal level I would like to think that I am still one of the most recognizable transgender older adults in Yonkers, even though I don’t physically live in the city anymore after retiring from my corporate position in 2018. I would have loved to continue living in the city, but unfortunately on a retirement income, so-called “affordable housing” was totally unaffordable to me. That said, this has never stopped me from giving back to the people of Yonkers. Hence, if you read my bio below, you will see that I continue to contribute in many significant ways.
As a historian, when I think about the events I personally witnessed during the Stonewall uprising back in 1969, as a then 14 year old, I remember thinking that these people had finally had enough and said we deserve the same rights to be ourselves to enjoy the right to the pursuit of happiness, as everyone else. For you see back then it was illegal to dress in a manner inconsistent with the sex designation on your birth certificate. I would always look forward to Halloween because it was the one day I had “permission” in a sense to express the real me.
As a kid growing up in the 1950s and 60s, the word “transgender” didn’t even exist. There were no role models, no Internet, no newspaper articles or books, nothing that I could even reference to try to understand my own self and why I felt the way I did. I knew around the age of four that I was very different, but it took decades for me to finally come to terms with who my brain told me I was.
I am happier for our younger generations because at least today there is visible precedent. They can see best practice. They can see those like me who have successfully accomplished being my authentic self.
It’s really impossible for most to even understand what it’s like, but that is why it is so important to tell our stories from the heart. It is the one way that others can put themselves in our shoes for a brief moment and hopefully accept what is being told. I always say that I don’t expect people to understand, but I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect people to respect that there are many different people in this world. In fact there are 8.7 billion humans on this earth and no two are alike. What makes us think that we all will just fit into these neat little boxes with labels on them.
Consider this also that one in 1500 births are designated as intersex. Meaning that when the baby is born, the doctor cannot readily determine whether the baby can be classified as a male or a female based on physical characteristics. So you see that nothing is simple. I would encourage you to go onto YouTube and search the term “intersex”. There are so many wonderful articulate speakers who will tell you all about themselves and it is eye-opening.
The bottom line to all of this is simply that we all should respect each other. We all have challenges. They may be different, but we all have them. By sharing our life journeys, we can provide a pathway forward for those who might have a similar challenge.
In conclusion please remember that transgender people are people too. We are your family members, your neighbors, your friends and your coworkers. We are worthy of respect and have gone through a lot to achieve the confidence to be ourselves.
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Angelique Piwinski is an awarded Yonkers historian, a current member of the Board of Trustees of the Hudson River Museum, a former decade long member of the Yonkers Landmarks Preservation Board and for several years a member and Cochair of Mayor Mike Spano‘s LGBTQ Advisory Board. She was a three time President of the Board of Directors of the Friends of Philipse Manor Hall, New York State historic site. She also is the founder and only admin of “Historic Yonkers; Early Photos and Stories”, a 10,000+ member Facebook group dedicated exclusively to Yonkers History 1960’s and earlier.
In her corporate life she spent 41 years in the advertising industry with 20 of them as an Executive Vice President. She was and still remains the most senior level person ever to transition Male to Female within the Interpublic Group of Companies, a holding company for over 90 companies with 54,000 employees around the globe.
She is a New York State Governor appointed Worldpride Ambassador, a training liaison for the Worklife Training Institute teaching local governments, corporations and school systems on how to be more inclusive of their LGBTQ employees, a member of the American Association of Advertising Agencies’ Diversity Steering Committee and a member of the Vestry of St. John’s Episcopal Church, Getty Square.
