By Eric Schoen
I don’t know about you, but I feel the recent statement made by Kelly Sadler, a communications aide in President Donald Trump’s administration, was truly disgusting!
Sadler reportedly said during a meeting that Sen. John McCain’s opposition to CIA nominee Gina Haspel “doesn’t matter” because “he’s dying anyway.”
The statement was made in a closed-door meeting at the White House and leaked by participants in the meeting. The participants who leaked Sadler’s comments are under fire, but the person who should be under fire is the person who made the pathetic statement, Kelly Sadler.
It is disturbing to both Republicans and Democrats that neither the president, the president’s spokesperson who leads daily briefings at the White House, nor Sadler herself publicly apologized for the insensitive remarks. But, sadly, public apologies are a rarity in the Trump administration.
Have you ever heard President Trump apologize? It’s sadly not in his vocabulary. The apology needed here is pretty cut and dry, and once made the matter will hopefully be over. At this point, however, if an apology is not forthcoming, Kelly Sadler needs to be shown the door at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Over the years many people in the public spotlight have said and done things that have forced them to publicly apologize for their sins. Their careers may take a temporary hit but bounce back if the apology is done right.
Pop star Justin Bieber in 2004 apologized for using the “N” word in a joke. And in 2011, the 20-year-old had to apologize again for telling a racist joke. His apologies were swift and on point, and today his career flourishes.
Who can forget Alec Baldwin’s vile voicemail on his 11-year-old daughter’s telephone in 2007? Shortly after it became public he apologized for losing his temper with his child. America soon forgot about the matter. Baldwin’s career suffered briefly, but he is probably busier working now than he was before the disgusting incident took place.
In 1995, Hugh Grant was arrested after hooking up with a Hollywood prostitute. I remember the video and a friend rushing home from a party so that he could see it. This was before cable television exploded throughout the country, with Americans tossing out their rabbit ears. Grant apologized on the Tonight Show. He bounced back after the apology and he keeps very busy turning out movies in Hollywood.
Tiger Woods apologized in 2009 for numerous extramarital affairs. At the time he said “I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated and I am the only person to blame.” He is still in the limelight on the golf course, although his game ain’t what it was!
Reese Witherspoon apologized on national television after she and her husband were arrested for disorderly conduct. Her husband was driving under the influence. She’s still making movies!
Actor Christian Bale in 2009 went on an expletive tirade at a cast member on the set of a movie he was filming, “Terminator Salvation.” He apologized and the event had little influence on his successful career.
In 2009, Kanye West at the MTV Video Music Awards interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech by saying, “Yo, Taylor, I’m happy for you but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.” The singer apologized to Swift and her mother, and publicly apologized on the Tonight Show.
So many have apologized for what they said and then went on with their careers: John Mayer apologized after using the “N” word in a Playboy interview. Bill Maher said the “N” word on live television. In 2014, actor Jonah Hill was caught using a homophobic slur; he apologized on the Howard Stern Show. David Letterman apologized to his wife when extramarital affairs became public. Although they divorced after a 25-year marriage, Arnold Schwarzenegger apologized to wife Maria Shriver for fathering a love-child with a former staff member.
Now let’s be clear – not all apologies have resulted in America forgetting their maker’s sins. Has Mel Gibson really bounced back after his 2006 arrest for driving under the influence and for his drunken, obscenity-laced tirade about “the Jews?” And southern chef Paula Deen’s career never really came back after admitting she used the “N” word.
I turn to Psychology Today for the definition of an apology: “A true apology is designed to help repair both a relationship, as well as the reputation of the wrongdoer. The guidelines for an effective apology are quite simple: (1) Accept responsibility for the negative impact of your action so that your apology will be sincere and, therefore, well-received. (2) Be specific in your apology so that you are directly acknowledging what you did wrong and not generalizing or being vague. (3) Be empathic, and let the offended person know that you understand and appreciate the impact of your wrongdoing on them. (4) Offer assurance that you will make every effort to ensure that your offensive words or actions will not be repeated. This, hopefully, will enable the hurt or offended person to not be wary of you and trust that the offense will not be repeated.”
Acknowledge. Accept. Make Amends. Ask for forgiveness. It’s time that Kelly Sadler steps up to the plate and does these things. If she can’t do it, the president should. The last option for apologizing is the president’s spokesperson, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. If no one has the courage, shame on them. The lady should be fired. Period!
Briefs {subhead}
City Hall budget crisis. A reader emailed me. “Just one correction regarding the husband of a City Council member. He works in human resources in the BOE building. He is not on the layoff list after two years working, however two other staff members with 18 and 22 years between them are on the list.
Response from the mayor’s spokesperson: “I can confirm the person you are referring to was not in proposed budget in terms of layoffs. However, as you know, it is up to the City Council to make final decisions on the budget.”
Will the councilman involved abstain from voting on the budget, as it would personally benefit his spouse? Interesting to watch!
As this column goes to press, it looks like the Democratic nominee for the State Assembly to fill Shelley Mayer’s big boots will be Nader Sayegh. I have known Nader for more than 50 years. The Democratic Party made the right choice. As a school administrator, attorney, community activist and all around nice guy, Nader knows the needs of his community and will sparkle representing us in Albany!
Reach Eric Schoen at thistooisyonkers@aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @ericyonkers. Listen to Eric Schoen and Dan Murphy on the Westchester Rising Radio Show on Thursdays from 10 to 11 a.m. on WVOX 1460 AM or download the Simple Radio app for free from the App Store.
