Send in the Clowns…The Oscar Edition

By Eric W. Schoen

Don’t slap me on the face but with what happened Sunday night and what’s been happening this week so far, the clowns are still with us! So, I decided not to change the title of the column. Let us start with, sadly the most important thing: The Academy Awards Presentation better known as the Oscars.

The producers of the show and ABC agreed to a three hour show. It ended up being over three and a half hours, with most of America not having the opportunity unless you have streaming services of seeing the winning film. We will get to that in a minute.

There are certain jokes, particularly when they pertain to health that are not meant for an Oscar show or any comedic venue. Chris Rock’s joke regarding Will Smith’s wife’s hair loss condition is one of them. It was totally inappropriate and he should never host another awards show.

But for Will Smith to go on the stage and ‘bitch slap’ Chris Rock? We look to these actors as role models for our children and ourselves. As a person deeply involved for years in public relations, any good P.R. Person would have advised Smith to sit down, get the award everyone knew he was getting, and when he went into the Press Room to greet the media after his win to go after Rock.

If Smith did that he would be a hero today and Chris Rock would be out of a job. And Smith could have taken victory laps for his exceptional performance and victory. Instead, ticket sales skyrocketed at the venue Rock would have probably been playing to many empty seats this week.

Many thought it was an act. But it’s not an act when ABC starts bleeping Will Smith’s words. You want to be in the public eye you need to learn to control your emotions and let a good Public Relations guy or gal help you do what you need to do. Come to think of it, we really haven’t seen anybody ‘bitch slap’ someone in ages. No offense but it is very ‘girlie’ thing to so, not something you expect from a guy.

CODA (Child of Deaf Adults) won for best picture. I doubt many of you saw it. I didn’t. That’s because on top of the $329 cable television, internet and telephone bill I get I would have to pay for streaming services. It is only available on the Apple streaming service, so my friends with Apple stock saw their shares soar after the best picture win.

I like to see new movies on the large screen at the Multiplex. I saw Sandra Bullock’s new movie over the weekend at the comfortable, reclining seat Cross County movie theater that was packed. Skip the Bullock movie (no Gone with the Wind).The theaters are sanitized and you are supposed to leave your mask on except when eating or drinking. Covid safe. Bring a little bottle of water from home in to get around that. Particularly if it’s a slow, boring 2 1/2 hour movie where many people fall asleep with their masks on. The theaters have installed air filtration systems to keep you healthy.

The Power of the Dog is another movie you can’t catch at the multiplex. The next big controversy will be between the streaming services and the multiplexes. There’s room for both if the don’t get greedy, but watch for clowns on both sides to defend their defenseless causes.

So we still don’t know who the unvaccinated sports figures and performers are but we know the many front line city workers and corporate employees who lost their jobs because they were unvaccinated. And Mayor Eric Adams says as we go to press he’s ‘tired of hearing from the terminated!’ Who does this man think he is. King Richard, no King Eric. Basically it’s a case of ‘Money Makes the World Go Around’ as we see lobbyists got paid big bucks to lobby Eric Adams on this and many other issues. As we are talking Broadway, ‘Money Makes the World Go Around’ is from Cabaret.

So the clowns at City Hall in New York make the little unvaccinated guys suffer when the baseball and basketball players and those from other sports and performers take the field. Don’t get me wrong. I believe everyone should get the vaccinations they qualify for. And I know lawsuits are in the works. Where’s the man who supposedly cares for the poor black, white, and Hispanic people, our Congressman Jamaal Bowman. And his comrade, AOC. Silence of the Lambs.

A man living in a tree in Riverbank State Park has finally received a notice evicting him from the tree giving him shelter options. Problem is the operators of these shelters give big bucks to politicians who let them make mega money operating dangerous facilities. Do you realize some of these shelters, not only in New York City but in Westchester too get over $100 a night to ‘house’ the homeless who are allowed in at 9 p.m. and must leave by 6 a.m. the next day. You multiply $100 a day (most shelters get much more) times 30 days a month and we are talking about over $3000 a month. For the shelter operators which include some religious organizations it’s ‘Nice Work if You Can Get It!’


Governor Hochul wants to give $850 million to build a stadium in Buffalo. Is she kidding. She says it’s, ‘Good for the Buffalo Economy.’ I think she should worry about the investigations going on regarding her Lt. Governor, Brian Benjamin before she starts building stadiums in Buffalo. She was at Andrew Cuomo’s side for over 6 1/2 years. You tell me she knew ‘nothing’ about what was going on with Mr. Cuomo. By the way, don’t buy the line Mr. Cuomo is running for Governor in a primary against Hochul. He would have had to pay professional signature collectors a lot of money to get the required signatures on time to get on the ballot.


So many people who left New York City during Covid miss the smells of hot dogs, shish kebabs, roasting nuts including chestnuts roasting on an open fire that a company has produced a candle that smells like the New York smells they miss!


President Joe Biden is honest and says Putin has to go and my colleagues on the left and right go nuts after his statement. Why? Honesty is the best Policy!


The last row in the movie theater is reserved for handicapped. A mother buys every seat in that row for her kids and refuses to move to the many empty seats when some handicapped individuals come in to the theater. I saw it a a movie theater in Yonkers.


Speed bumps on Rumsey Road in Yonkers and big signs listing the speed limit of 20 miles per hour. A car beeps me expecting me to fly over the speed bumps. I stop cold. You should too, and stay in the middle of the road so the idiots can’t pass you.


The MTA several years ago bans those with criminal histories from riding the subways. The New York Post asks for a list of names. Not one name on the ‘criminals banned from subways’ list!


Why does the New York Pension System have $300 Million invested in the Russian Stock Market? No good companies to invest in in our country? Now they can’t get the money out!


Duane Reade closes in Manhattan on 8th Avenue because people are walking in with their recyclable bags wiping the store shelves clean. I go to a CVS on 8th and 47th streets and the security guard is busy texting and talking on her cell phone while I’m in the store. A man comes into the 7-11 in Yonkers, walks to the back of the store, shoplifts while a police car is taking information on a car accident in the parking lot.


A kangaroo is on the loose after making his way out of a Hudson Valley animal retreat. ‘Rocko’ has been reported missing for days in Orange County out of the Noah’s Ark Animal Retreat in Goshen. Who know’s maybe next week our title will be ‘Send in the Kangaroos!’


Reach Eric Schoen at thistooisyonkers@aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @ericyonkers. Listen to Eric Schoen on the Westchester Rising Radio Show alternating Thursday’s from 10-11 a.m. On WVOX 1460 AM, WVOX.com click listen or download the WVOX app from the App Store free of charge.