By Eric Wolf Schoen
With so much going on in the world, make sure you celebrate your Mom on Mother’s Day this Sunday. Make her a special meal. Remember how fortunate you are to be able to celebrate with her in your company. If she is no longer with us, remember all the good times you had. Take time out of your schedule to do something she liked to do with you or something good for someone else. She will be smiling in Heaven.
It’s over 30 years since the passing of my mom, and I miss her everyday. I miss her but something happens everyday to remind me about her. I was thinking about those many things as I sat down to write this column. For Some of you who knew my mom the events I hope will wax nostalgic. If you didn’t, think about the special memories that come to mind about your mother.
Last Friday I had, for lack of a better word a podiatric episode. When you have two artificial knees you have to take these things seriously. I needed to see a podiatrist that day, called at least 10 in Yonkers off of the internet with no luck. It dawned on me that mom use to see a podiatrist on Valentine Lane. Could he still be in business after over 30 years? Yes he was, and his partner saw me within 20 minutes. Mom was looking out for me.
After Covid I rarely wear suits. I pulled one out of the closet at 5 p.m. for a 6 p.m. affair and the pants were severely wrinkled. Mom never ironed. She would pay someone to iron for her. She never showed me how to iron. I had an iron in one of my drawers, pulled it out, put it on the highest setting and voila, without burning myself or my pants l was able to get the wrinkles out of the pants. Mom gave me the inspiration to do it, and her and her best friend, Antoinette Costantini, a fine dress maker were smiling in heaven knowing I could figure out how to iron, something which for most of you is a periodic event.
When microwave ovens came out, I bought mom the biggest one that would fit in the space she had. It was big, and mom said she would never use it. It took her a while but eventually she used it several times a day. When I cook I use it several times a day. Most of my friends know that if I can ‘nuke’ it I can eat it. Every time I use the microwave with various built in ovens I think of mom.
I learned to shop from my mother, and how to find a bargain whether it was on the white, Square display tables people use to crowd around at Alexander’s on Fordham Road in the Bronx and later in Yonkers, or in John Wanamaker’s at Cross County Center. Mom was the queen of finding a bargain, a good habit that I have with prices as crazy as they are now.
If mom saw something she liked she would buy it in every color. I was shopping in Target not to long ago, and they had tee shirts on sale at a very good price. They fit well, and 5 colors later I went home with a bargain like mom would want me to.
Tuesday was Teacher Appreciation Day in the United States. Mom and Antoinette Costantini, her co-PTA President at School 13 in Yonkers always facilitated a luncheon for the teachers accompanied by a small gift of appreciation. I thought of mom when I posted a thank you on my Facebook to the many teachers I have had from Elementary School through Grad School and even when I went back to school midlife to obtain my Paralegal status.
It might be something little, but mom always believed in giving a token of her appreciation to the nurse in the doctors office or the school nurse who would take care of me when I was sick. Following in mom’s footsteps, whether it be to my doctors nurse, the lady at 7-11 who serves me everyday making sure my items are the freshest and best tasting to the USPS and UPS carriers delivering to my apartment, I always find something to grace them with!
Mom loved reading newspapers. The New York Times, the Daily News, the Post and the local paper, The Herald Statesman (aka Journal News) were delivered to the apartment. When mom got the Herald when paperboys delivered it after school, the first question my sister and I would ask her was, ‘Who died.’ With the exception of the Daily News I get the papers delivered to my iPad daily, and looking to see who died is usually the first thing done by my sister and yours truly. Even though we are Jewish, mom had a box full of different sizes of Mass Cards we would send or deliver in person. I still have them!
Greeting cards for Birthdays, Anniversaries and other special occasions would be sent out like clockwork by mom to family and friends. If someone didn’t get a card on time they would check to make sure mom was ok. My sister sends out occasion cards to family and friends names which are listed in a book she refers to. I also have a large number of cards I send out, in keeping with my mother’s tradition.
Mom use to love trying new products at the grocery store. Particularly when they were purchased with a cents off coupon. I was at Stop and Shop earlier this week, and they had a clearance sale on watermelon yogurt. I love watermelon and I love yogurt, bought several of them and will give you a review in the future.
Dad had high blood pressure. Mom would cook everything adding no salt to it. Dad’s spice was pepper. Mom never put a salt shaker on the table. The other day I was looking for a bit of salt to add to something I was eating, and could not find the salt shaker in my apartment. A good habit mom taught her children.
Mom and dad and I went to Atlantic City in 1978, the first year casino gambling was legal. Whether it was the slot machines of Atlantic City or the card games, nickel and dime my parents loved to play with friends, they loved gambling, always within their means. Mom liked the lottery. My sister plays various games daily, and Monday through Sunday I play the lottery big games, Powerball, Cash for Life and Mega Millions allowing me to become a millionaire 7 days a week. I always think of mom when I play the lottery. One day I will become the big winner!
Mom was a strong believer in Unicef collecting the Trick or Treat money on Halloween. She felt bad for the starving children in the world, and wanted to see all students contribute to the cause. She was the School 13 Unicef Chairwoman. There was some controversy about Unicef and they would not let her collect the trick or treat boxes inside School 13. On a cold October day, mom sat outside the school and collected the orange coin boxes for UNICEF. I always try to send them a check with the hopes that they are still feeding hungry children around the world.
My mom had matching pocketbooks and shoes for every outfit she wore. Though I am colorblind, before I dress I make sure everything matches out of respect to mom. If she saw someone like one of her doctors wearing a tie she did not like or did not match what he was wearing, the next visit she would gift the doctor with a matching tie.
Mom hated the color brown, and would never let my me wear it. Anything I bought that was brown I had to return. To this day even if the price is right brown is not in my wardrobe.
People, yes over 30 years later will come up to me and ask how is your mom. Others will come up to me and tell me wonderful stories of their experiences with mom. People mean well, though well meaning will bring a tear to my eyes.
If your mother is still with you treat her special on Mother’s Day this Sunday. If she is an angel in heaven, think about the wonderful times you had together and how you like me do so many things that she did.
I miss my mom everyday. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mothers out there!
Reach Eric Schoen at thistooisyonkers@aol.com, or friend him on Facebook Eric Schoen…just look for him in the picture with Joan Rivers!
