A study came out on Monday that said blood pressure measurements of nearly half-million adults showed a significant rise in 2020 versus 2019. Let’s face it. Last year was not a fun year. Americans dealt with a global pandemic, the loss of loved ones, lockdowns that splintered social networks, stress, unemployment and depression.
So it should be no surprise to you or me that the nation’s blood pressure shot up. Thank god my pressure has been good. But if you could have seen my reaction when picking up a bar of cream cheese, the 1/3 less fat or Neufchâtel kind at Target Monday night and saw the signs I did, for a moment I think my blood pressure went through the roof.
Now for a quick lesson. According to what I have read online, Neufchâtel is a soft, slightly crumbly, mold-ripened cheese made in the Neufchâtel-en-Bray, French region of Normandy. One of the oldest kinds of cheese in France, its production is believed to date back to the 6th century. But friends, if you believe the cream cheese you schmear on the fresh bagels you get from places like Goldberg’s Bagels on Central Avenue across from Cross County Center or Highridge Bagels in the Highridge Shopping Center on Central Avenue is coming from France, you are dreaming. The cream cheese is simply low fat.
Time for another lesson. You see I know about bagels because when I was a little kid I worked at the H&R Bialy bagel shop in the Quaker Ridge Shopping Center in New Rochelle. We are talking about close to 50 years ago, and the shop is still owned by the same family today. Dad on his day off Saturday would work in the Appetizing counter (think sophisticated deli selling high quality smoked fish) at H&R. He was in the grocery business before becoming a Manufactures Representative for some of the largest health and beauty aid companies in this country. His firm was one of the first to sell condoms when pharmacists took them from behind the counter where you had to ask for them and put them on display in the pharmacy (gasp!) prior to the giant displays you have at your Walmart or Target today.
In the traditional sense, a schmear is a generous slathering of cream cheese on a bagel. The word itself has Yiddish origins, derived from the root for spread or smear. Years ago at bagel shops you could buy a bagel with a schmear which was less expensive than a bagel with cream cheese. The bagel with cream cheese had more cream cheese than the bagel with a schmear. This may seem complicated to some but those of you of a certain age get my drift.
By the way, before real bagels are put in the oven to be baked, they must be boiled in very hot water. That’s why the bagel you buy in Dunkin Donuts tastes different from the bagel you buy at Goldberg’s or H&R Bialy. Time for another lesson for you hipsters reading this column. What is a bialy?
Round with a depressed middle filled with cooked onions and sometimes poppy seeds, it is simply baked. Real bagels are boiled, then baked. Its outside is dull and flat, not shiny, and it doesn’t have that pull-away crust. Large puffy bubbles characterize the bialy’s innards. Yes it can be schmeared with butter or cream cheese (and topped with cured/smoked fish), but purists prefer them straight up, preferably no more than five hours after being pulled from the oven. If they sit out too long without being eaten, their texture can get hard like a hockey puck. Many people keep them in a plastic bag (those supporting a plastic bag ban please don’t throw stones at me!) and when they have cooled down put any uneaten extras in the freezer.
Ray’s New York Bagels sells frozen bialys in many supermarkets, but there is nothing better than a fresh bialy. They are hard to find, but Kossar’s on Grand Street in Manhattan still makes them. Now yet again another lesson for those of you who go into the the bagel shop and ask ‘Which bagels just came out of the oven?’ or ‘Which bagels are freshest?’
All bagels in a good bagel shop are fresh, made that morning or if they have a fast turnover within minutes of your arrival. Never put those hot bagels you crave into a plastic bag while they are hot. If you do, don’t be surprised if you wake up the next day and the bagels have turned green mold. Always wait for the bagels to cool down before you put them in a plastic bag.
I don’t know if they do it now because I enjoy the occasional bagel I eat un-Schmeared right out of the paper bag but years ago shops that sold fresh baked bagels would give you a plastic bag that you could put the hot bagels in after they cooled down. I could never understand this as most people have Ziploc or some other types of bags in their cupboard to pack up the bagels. By the way, a cupboard is a cabinet or small recess with a door and typically shelves, used for storage. Your kitchen cabinets where you store non perishable foods use to be called cupboards.
So now you wonder why the heading of this column is 99 Cents vs. $3.49 for Cream Cheese. Over the weekend there was a story in the New York Times about the shortage of cream cheese at delis and bagel shops around Manhattan. Supply chain issues have plagued the United States for months, causing shortages of everything from cars to running shoes. In Alaska apparently residents are struggling to acquire winter coats. Now that’s a problem!
New York’s bagel shops are feeling the supply chain effects in a sudden and surprising development that has left them scrambling to find and hoard as much cream cheese as they can. The recipe for cream cheese is simple: lactic acid, pasteurized milk and cream. Many shops start their mixes with Philadelphia cream cheese, a product of the Kraft Heinz brand, which arrives on huge pallets. They then mix in the things you want in the cream cheese on your bagel: chives, cinnamon and raisin, walnuts, anchovies, lox shreds I could go on and on. Some add secret ingredients to make the final products taste better and creamier.
These stores buy a different type of cream cheese than you or I would buy at the supermarket. But most of us buy cream cheese in the little silver packages usually called Philadelphia or the store brand for consumption with the bagels quite often also purchased at the supermarket. I’m in the dairy aisle at Target and I see a sign next to the Philadelphia Cream Cheese that says ‘New Low Price $3.49.’ $3.49 for an 8 ounce package of Philadelphia cream cheese. That is insane! Next to it is the Target brand of cream cheese, as I have had both I can say pretty much the same thing for 99 cents. I was shocked.
OK, maybe I had one too many latkes or potato pancakes for Chanukah. Or a bit too much Manischewitz wine to drink. So I go to the target website. They have workers that pick your orders for you. And yes, an 8 ounce bar of Philadelphia Cream Cheese was $3.49. They had plenty of them but that’s not the point. Who would ever pay $3.49 for a bar of plain or Neufchâtel (definitely not imported from France) cream cheese.
What is going on in this country at the grocery store. And Target usually has the best prices even though they don’t have the biggest selection of items. I went to look for my box of frozen high protein pancakes and all they had was a plastic bag (!) with 10 packages of frozen regular pancakes from a brand I am not familiar with.
They had a good choice of waffles but no Kodiak brand frozen pancakes. Not even the Target brand of frozen pancakes. Are people not eating pancakes anymore?
Did I miss the train? Or the boat. You know your writer bought the 99 cents Target Neufchâtel cream cheese made in America. But can someone explain to me what’s going on here?
Reach Eric Schoen at thistooisyonkers@aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @ericyonkers. Listen to Eric Schoen and Dan Murphy on the Westchester Rising Radio Show Thursday’s from 10-11 a.m. On WVOX 1460 AM, go to WVOX.com and click the arrow to listen to the live stream or download the WVOX app from the App Store free of charge.
